Ode to Gen-X: The Thug's Walmart

A few weeks ago, while eating at Sonic with friends, I witnessed one of Provo's wonders: The Gen-X Latin Rice Rocket Car Rally. You’ve probably seen it before, the huge group of Latin teens that gather outside Gen-X on Fridays to show off their early- to mid-90s Hondas, Mazdas, and Nissans equipped with mufflers, spoilers, and speaker systems. As I listened to the whiney hum of each car's four-cylinder engine, I pondered the crucial role Gen-X plays in blessing the lives of so many…

First off, for those few who are unfamiliar with the majesty of Gen-X, Gen-X first opened in Salt Lake City in 1998 as an inexpensive, low-quality clothing and accessory store for the "new generation". Presently, Gen-X has over 40 stores, each offering those teenagers and college students seeking to express that inner thug without breaking the bank the medium by which they can.

Gen-X is special. I'm not sure if it's the tacky neon sign out front, the sweet melodies of Mexican Reggeton that rush into my ears every time I open the door, or the beauty of knowing that with twenty dollars I can find the perfect tall tee and accessories to fit any occasion, but a visit to Gen-X always leads to lasting memories.

For those of us (like me) who were born in white suburbia but grew up listening to Coolio, Black Street, and Tupac, Gen-X provides a path for each of us to become the thug we have long idolized. Where else can you find blinging watches for under $10, flat-billed caps starting at $6.99, and tall tees that perpetually sell at 50% off?

Perhaps those jeans you bought for $11 stain your shoes blue, and sure, that watch turns your wrist green after 20 minutes; nevertheless, when you put on that tall tee, and tip that NY Yankee cap just a touch, you can confidently look in the mirror as you head out to that casual stake dance and say to yourself, "Oh dang, I be thuggin; indeed, straight thuggin."

Apparently, I'm a pansy

So over the weekend some friends and I went to the haunted house on 50 East behind the indoor practice field. I had never been to a haunted house before; I’m not quite sure what I was expecting it to be. Thinking back, I should have recognized that a haunted house would not be an ideal activity for me. I don’t really like scary movies; therefore, what possessed me to think that I would enjoy a haunted house which is essentially a live scary movie.

Anyways, we went to the haunted house and got split up into groups. Our group was suffering from the beginning because of the three of us two of us were haunted house virgins and the other one was almost too frightened to even enter the haunted house. The first room there was a gruesome looking corpse on the kitchen table and all kinds of gore. I thought, “Ok wow, that’s sick but not too bad.” Unfortunately, I was unaware that there were all kinds of people hidden throughout the haunted house and in that moment this freaky looking guy came out with a couple of butcher knives, screaming at the top of his lungs. I would like to report that I was the strong male force in the group, but I was not. That guy scared me to death and I just remembering thinking to myself, “This is going to be a long walk.”

The whole house was crawling with people and it seemed like I was jumping at every turn. I remember thinking afterwards, “Who likes these things?” After leaving the haunted house and talking with the girls in the group I had gone with, we came to the conclusion that apparently, I’m a pansy.